My Birth Story: Adalaide

            Disclaimer: This is a story I have been debating on sharing, because it was particularly hard for me emotionally. I originally wrote this a few weeks after Addie was born, so the emotions are quite raw. Please be mindful and respectful if you decide to leave a comment. 

        

In the weeks leading up to her coming I was frequently having practice contractions for two hours at a time. I started having some contractions Sunday night and off and on slept through them. Around 7:30am September 4th (Monday) they started getting stronger and I no longer could sleep through them. I decided to get up and shower and get myself together. We had been joking that we wanted her to come Labor day weekend since it was a 3 day weekend for Garett. At my last appointment my doctor had said that she didn't think I was going to make it to my due date, let alone my next appointment.

           I was roughly timing the contractions and they were about 4-5 minutes apart, but I wanted to eat and walk around before I decided if it was labor or not. Sometimes after a hot shower or eating, practice contractions subside. I chatted with my sister about whether or not they were real while starting some laundry. They weren't overly intense, but enough that I had to stop and breathe a little each time. After about 3 hours I decided they probably weren’t going away and I should call the doctor. My parents were on vacation as their last hurrah before Addie was born since we knew we wanted my mom to come and help after she was born. The doctor told me to go to the hospital and get checked. So we loaded up stuff for me and baby girl just in case and all headed over to the hospital.

           We took Joshua in case it was false labor and had to go home. They got us registered and I spelled Adalaide’s name wrong because I had to talk between contractions. They took me upstairs to get checked. I was at a 4 and 80% effaced. When I had went in the week before, I was at a 3 and 50% effaced. They wanted to keep me for at least 30 mins and have the doctor check me to see if I progressed. I quickly moved to a 5 and then a 6 and was 90% effaced. They decided to keep me and we had a family from church come to get Joshua. I got an epidural, which seemed more uncomfortable and slower than I remember. It seemed so much faster and easier with Joshua. Also they put my IV in a side vein on my left hand despite my trying to tell them which vein to use and then it was sore for so long and I couldn’t relax because my arm ached. I have very sensitive skin. (I hate needles and IVs are cringe worthy. I have really poor veins for IV's because even with putting a band on, my veins are really hard to see. Over the years I have learned that the vein on the top of my left hand consistently works best and hurts the least, but the woman put the IV in the side of my left wrist near the bone and gosh it is hard not to move that part of your wrist!)

I got my epidural and they had me try lying on my side and back to see if it helped anything. Addie’s heart rate started dropping when my contractions would come, instead of speeding up. She stayed at a -1 the whole time. I progressed pretty nicely in every other aspect. The doctor broke my water to try and help encourage her to come down. I got to a 9 and completely effaced, but she wouldn’t have me push because Addie was too far up. She had me labor on my side, but they didn’t put me in a very good position so I could still feel contractions and it hurt. It was rather miserable, but at least it was faster. Finally when the doctor went to check again, Addie’s heart rate dropped for about 5 minutes and my doctor got really worried and recommended that we consider a C-section. You might be able to imagine how I felt when she said that. I so desperately wanted a vbac. I was so close!

           Part of me still wonders if I should have insisted trying longer, but we had already pushed it of a few times already. The risks of a vbac only really risk losing the baby. The mother will be fine, but you can lose your baby and I just wanted her safe and sound. I wish I had taken more time to decide, but I was so tired. Garett and I said a prayer together that she would be okay and come safely. I cried because once again I was failing. My body wasn't doing what it was supposed to; my baby wasn't coming down. I thought I had been open minded that it might not work, but in my heart I wanted that normal birth. Even still it is hard to see those pictures of moms getting to hold their baby as soon as they come out. I always have to wait hours and it kills me.

            Once we decided to do a C-section, they upped my epidural, and took me down the hall to the OR. It seemed scarier this time. Maybe because, while tired, I was still more alert than last time. It looked so cold and scary. They put me on the table, put up the curtain. I remember feeling so cold. It was sad, exciting and familiar. They did a test to see if I could feel anything. I was good to go.

            There was an annoying doctor that told me it would feel like tugging (they always say that and it does feel that way). I’m sure he was just trying to do his job, but he was not very encouraging. Last time it felt like side to side tugging, this time if felt more up and down and felt really weird.    

                

They got her out, I heard her cry! They took her to a table to the side to be weighed. She came in at a perfect 6 lbs 3 oz and 19 inches at 5:08pm. She was beautiful and not as dirty as I remember Joshua being. Garett got to walk over and see her. I stared in awe at my beautiful Adalaide May. I loved watching her, I didn't get to with Joshua. They wrapped her up for me to see and Garett brought her over. She was absolutely perfect! She had lots of dark brown hair. They needed to take her away and check some stuff and they asked Garett if he wanted to go. I told him it was okay, looking back I wish I hadn’t. They started to process of putting me back together and this is where it got scary. 

             My heart rate started to rise part way through and I knew something was wrong, but no one was about to tell me. I found out later a blood vessel had broken and my doctor couldn’t find where the blood was coming from so she called in another doctor to help. I lost about a liter of blood. All I knew is that something felt wrong. The annoying doctor kept telling me to try and slow my breathing. I was scared, I thought I was going to pass out. I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t know what. I asked the doctor to talk to me, he sucked at it. I was so scared I was going to pass out. This lasted awhile, me saying something felt off and him telling me to slow my breathing. The thing is, your heart automatically starts pumping harder when something is wrong, I felt like I couldn’t control it. I felt like I was lying on that table forever. I kept asking for warm blankets. They didn’t have the nice heating tubes like with Joshua. I felt nauseous to add to all to it all and had to keep asking them to move the blankets and my robe away from my neck or I would puke. The one good thing is that I didn’t throw up this time. I swear I was on that table forever.

             Eventually they finished, moved me back to my bed and wheeled me to my room. Garett came in eventually and brought Addie. My epidural was so strong that it was up through my arms a good bit so I couldn’t really hold her well, though somehow I still felt the ache of that dang IV.

             They tried to switch me to morphine while my epidural wore off. Note to self: morphine does nothing for me. They gave me around 4 doses or so before they realized that it was doing nothing, meanwhile my epidural was wearing off quickly. Did you know you still have contractions after a C-section? They don’t magically go away right away. So I felt the lovely pain of a 10. It hurt so much and I told them at least a thousand times I swear. They had to talk to my doctor and try to get other medication approved, but they had to be careful of what they gave me because of the blood vessel bursting and the C-section. Eventually they got something approved and I started to feel better.

I felt like I didn’t get to enjoy holding Addie until around 8pm (3 hours after she was born). My mom headed up around 6pm and got there around 9:30pm. Her and my dad had been enjoying a weekend away and had to rush home so my mom could come up. Garett went and got Joshua and took him home. My mom stayed the night with me and then headed to the house the next morning around 6am so Garett could get to class. (Oh the joys of having a kid while your husband is in grad school!) She brought Joshua by later on in the day and I enjoyed holding Addie as much as I could without distractions. Joshua was okay with Addie, but not fully sure what to make of her. 

             The hospital stay was okay. I had one awesome night nurse the first night who was so sweet. They kept asking me if I wanted them to take Adalaide so I could sleep. I don't know how other moms are but I always refused. I spent 9 months waiting for her and just underwent being cut open again just to meet her. I was not about to let her go for anything. The second night I spent alone and I hated it. Garett still had school and my mom and I agreed she should stay at the house so she could be with Joshua in the morning. I'm glad she could, but being alone in the hospital was miserable. Maybe it was because I was trying to cope with having another c-section and being left alone with your own thoughts while sleep deprived is a terrible idea. Luckily we headed home the next day (Wednesday). I was working hard on trying to stand up relatively straight (any c-section moms will know, you hobble around the first week because you literally can't stand up straight).

             While happy to be home, it was definitely harder this time. Garett still had school and Joshua couldn't understand why I couldn't play with him on the floor. Sometimes I did anyway and always regretted it. By Friday I stopped the intense pain medication, because it was too strong and I felt like I couldn't think straight. I made do with a mild pain medication (why did they not have a medium prescription? Oh well). Despite all that, Adalaide was a great eater and started sleeping through the night at 2 weeks old (and she still does!).

I love Addie. She is my angel. I wish her birth story wasn't so hard for me to deal with. She is so incredibly sweet and the happiest baby ever. She rarely cries and loves to be held. I am thankful she came safe and sound into this world. I have needed her far more than she may ever know. She has been such a blessing and watching her and Joshua interact has made my heart grow infinitely more. I think I will question my choices for her birth for a long time, but at least the ache has dulled with some time. Regardless of her story of arrival, I will never regret having her. I love this sweet angel on mine and the joy and love she has added to our family.

-Megan

A Year In Review 2014 Edition

This will be a long post, but I promise it'll be mostly pictures. I won't be offended if you just look at all the pictures though. 

This year by far has been the best yet (though I know 2015 is going to beat it).

We spent winter semester hanging out with friends and having an epic married couples sleepover.

We played Betrayal at the House on the Hill, had lots of snacks and lots of laughs.

 We have been blessed with such great friends here in Rexburg and I will hate to go whenever the time comes. 

Oh and we built a fort!

Later on we went down to California to visit Garett's family for a weekend and to take a break from the Idaho winter.

I must say I love going down there to see his family and also the beauty that is southern California.

 Our friends Katy and Sam added a new member to their family, their cute puppy Marley. 

 In the srping my mom came to visit and we go to go to the drive-in theater. 

In the spring Garett and I found out we were pregnant with Joshua.

I have to say it was a beautiful surprise right before mother's day. 

Though that brought about morning sickness which lasted all semester.

I was taking ceramics that semester and throwing on the wheel made it worse.

I'm surprised I survived that.

(No that wasn't thrown on the wheel, but I'm not particularly proud of the stuff I threw)

We had our first appointment right before my birthday and it started to settle in that Joshua was really there, growing and becoming an awesome little person.

I remember my doctor telling me not to increase my exercise dramatically and of course I had a travel study down to Moab, UT the next week where we got 3 hours of sleep and hiked 15 miles. 

It was worth it though! 

I made some great friends on that trip and had tons of fun despite being sleep deprived.

Goes to show that you can still handle a lot even with being sick, or maybe I just got really lucky.

 After our 2nd appointment and making sure Joshua survived that semester as well, we decided to announce his arrival!

Garett graduated with his Bachelors in Microbiology.

And my dearest friend Haley married her love Bryce.

She made a beautiful bride!

Around our 2 year anniversary we went down to California and got to go camping at Carlsbad beach with Garett's family. I loved it and would do it again in a heartbeat!

I got to see Garett surf for the 1st time in 5 years and it was by far the coolest thing I've ever seen.

Surfing is a very attractive sport. 

Shortly after that we found out Joshua was a boy!

To prepare for Joshua we moved to a 2 bedroom apartment in our complex. 

For Halloween we continued our tradition of carving pumpkins with our friends Katy and Sam.

Not pictured is that his past semester Garett and I got to have a pretty fun game of D&D with several of our close friends. Garett was our DM and made it fun for all of us.

During Thanksgiving break Garett and I went down to Utah to see my family as well as Grandpa Bonds one last time.

He was thrilled to hear that his great-grandson Bonds was on his way. 

(FYI Joshua is the 1st great-grandchild to carry on Grandpa Bonds name, so he was pretty thrilled)

My final semester kept me busy with walking lots and climbing 4 flights of stairs every day. 

On the bright side it helped me keep my pregnancy weight under control. 

In December I graduated with my Bachelors in Photography at 37 weeks.

Then we played the waiting game over Christmas break.

Due to being so pregnant, Garett and I spent our first and only Christmas alone in Rexburg.

Luckily we had great friends (Ron and Bryton) to share Christmas day with.

Shortly after the new year I went into labor and gave birth to our son Joshua. 

Grandpa Bonds despite his health lived to see Joshua being born.

Though they never met in person it was wonderful that Grandpa Bonds got to see pictures of Joshua and his arrival into this world.

It was a roller coaster of a year thanks to Garett and I finishing school, making new friends and me being pregnant for most of it.

We had a wonderful year and loved getting to share it with such great friends and family!

We love you all and this year shall be even better!

-Megan

Almost the End and A New Beginning

First and foremost I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, Hanukkah or any other holiday that you may celebrate this time of year. I know we had a nice quiet one which will probably be our last quiet one for possibly the rest of our lives. 

We are at an odd place in life right now. As of last week I have graduated with my Bachelors in Photography and as you can see just about ready to explode. 

I am so grateful for an incredibly patient husband, as these last 2 semesters have been a roller coaster ride between morning sickness and other pregnancy adventures and finishing up my degree. Garett graduated in July so he was working and waiting for me to finish these last few months. I could not have survived all of this without him. 

Also to my dear parents whom invested greatly in me and always pushed me to work hard. I thank them. They have always supported me in doing what I love and have encouraged me to try new things. I owe them more than I'll ever be able to repay in my lifetime.

We loved getting to spend time with them this past weekend and were sad that we couldn't be there for Christmas. 

Regardless we had a wonderful Christmas. Below is my phenomenal homemade, personalized stocking made by Cathie, Garett's mom. (Just fyi Cathie I absolutely love this! You can ask Garett, I was dancing around the house for joy when I got this in the mail. Thank you for working incredibly hard on this for me! It means the world to me). All the Bonds kids had stockings like these and I think it is the coolest tradition ever.

This year it was just the 2 of us in Idaho. We decided to stay in town, being that baby boy's due date is in 2 weeks and I would hate to be stuck in another state when he arrives.

Garett made our Christmas loads of fun by jumping out of bed yelling "It's Christmas!" and dancing around the house. We of course had to be wearing our Christmas pajamas and start with the stockings. Garett pushed the couch out of the way so we could reach the presents easier and then proceeded to dump out his stocking on the floor. His facial expressions were priceless and though we are not quite parents yet, he had enough excitement for us and 3 of our unborn children. 

 It was nice to have one little Christmas to ourselves, but of course we missed out family that is spread over the country. 

We got to enjoy the rest of the day with our friends Bryton and Ron. We had brunch at our place where Garett cooked up a storm and then enjoyed a fantastic Christmas dinner made by Bryton. We were definitely stuffed full with delicious foods for Christmas. It was really nice to be able to share the day with our friends and enjoy some great company. (Thanks for sharing your Christmas day with us Bryton and Ron!)

 Rexburg also did not disappoint as it gave us almost a foot of snow for a beautiful white Christmas. Up until now Rexburg has been unusually warm and you could still see the grass on Christmas eve day. Literally overnight we got this beautiful blanket. I am grateful I didn't have to deal with this during the semester and it was nice timing to have it during the break. I would have been sad if our first and last Christmas in Rexburg was snowless. 

Now I am 38 weeks pregnant (below is at 37) and kind of just waiting.

It's weird waiting to become a parent, to bring a child into this world. I think it is finally feeling real that he can come whenever he wants now. Part of me wants him asap and part of me is content with waiting awhile longer (probably the insanity of having to actually give birth to another human being plays a part in that). I am both thrilled and terrified on a daily basis.

It is also strange to think we are basically done with Rexburg. I have had a wonderful 4 years here and 3 of them with Garett. I have truly grown to love this town as it has become my home. It is where so much of my life changed for the better. I have met some incredible people here over the years including my amazing husband Garett and some of our dearest friends. It is where our story began. It is about to be the beginning of our little family and it will always be dear to me.

Now we are starting a new chapter. 

We are about to have a baby boy, to become parents.

Our lives are about to change forever.

We are working on figuring out where we want to go for grad school.

Everything is about to change and I am sitting on the edge of the cliff waiting.

It seems rare that we get to hold on and savor the turning points in our lives.

Often they happen suddenly without warning, for better or worse.

So here I am waiting, waiting for this new chapter to begin, for everything to change.

I guess I should count it as a blessing that I get to be in this place and take it all in.

It is exciting, terrifying, thrilling, overwhelming and incredible.

I am grateful for an amazing husband to share in this adventure with.

I'm grateful to our family and friends that have supported us in everything we have decided to do and are always cheering us on.

This new road is coming and knowing that I have the greatest support from the most incredible people gives me peace. 

I know it will be a new and challenging road, but I also know it will all be okay. 

I am blessed beyond reason and know that when tomorrow comes I will welcome it with open arms.

Here's to new beginnings and with the new year, will come a new road and a new adventure.

Thank you all for being a part of it. 

I love you all and wish you the best in this coming year.

May it be filled with great and marvelous joys and experiences.

-Megan

There is a First for Everything

       Recently there have been a lot of changes in my life, both big and small. To start Garett and I just finished up winter semester. He took things like Immunology and Medical Microbiology which consist of a lot of large and weirdly pronounced words. Worse I had to try to help him study with flash cards and his hand writing is well....he writes like a doctor.... Between that and trying to pronounce many strange words I am not sure I was too much help. Either way I am very proud of him. I on the other hand took Doctrine and Covenants Part 2 and Marriage 300. I loved my marriage class and learned a great deal which I am slowly trying to incorporate into our marriage. As for my religion class I learned I am never taking an online religion class ever again. It just doesn't have the same feel and is more mundane and not as fun or spiritual.

       School ended and out dearest friends Katy and Sam moved to Utah for the semester. They are missed more than anything! We helped them pack and clean so at least we got to see them for two days before they left but already we are wishing it was fall. Also part of our spring break was heading down to Utah and spending part of Easter weekend with my fabulous parents, my brother Aaron and our good friend Haley. We saw the move "Transcendence" with Johnny Depp and it was thought provoking. It is not a movie I would buy and for the rest of you, wait until it comes out at Redbox but overall it is an interesting movie. More than anything it makes you think and I'd like to think that was the point of the movie; it was to raise questions in the minds of the viewers.

       While home I got some fantastic quality time with my little brother Aaron and let me tell you, he is turning into one incredible young man! I am proud of him beyond reason and I am excited to see where the future takes him. I don't get to catch up with him often but when I do I always enjoy it profusely. Watch out world because he's coming and he is going to do great things! 

       Our break ended far too soon as most do and now spring semester begins. I have survived my first week of classes and Garett has a few more tomorrow. In terms of new things or at least renewing things I am taking advanced black and white photography. I am very excited because I am going to get to do things I haven't done since high school like playing with medium and large format cameras and film and also to edit in the darkroom. Let me tell you, darkrooms were the original Photoshop and take much more skill and creativity than clicking some buttons. 

     More on a new note I am taking ceramics and I am excited and also quite terrified to begin. Once again I am learning a brand new medium and I'm hoping it's at least less scary than lithography and print making. Either way I think it will be fun! Between that and advanced black and white I will be in studios during all my free time. I am also taking 20th century art history and Teachings of the Living Prophets. My religion teacher reminds me a great deal of my U.S. History teacher for high school, Mrs. Ellison (Hannah you'll understand what I mean). He has already proven to be loud and boisterous and more passionate about his subject than any other teacher I have ever seen. I am looking forward to all he has to teach me.

      Finally I am doing my travel this semester. We are going to Antelope Island (which apparently everyone in my family has been except me), Goblin Valley and Moab. It's specifically for photography students and my favorite photography teacher is in charge of it! Already I have met a girl in my group because she is in my ceramics class, so at least when I go to my meeting tomorrow for the travel (Friday) I will know someone. 

       Again in terms of new things Garett is graduating this semester. He is taking Evolutionary Science, Virology, Epidemiology and the Capstone class as well as he is doing an internship with one of his teachers. The big thing is his virology class which will help him decide between that or immunology for what he wants to study in the long run. (Don't ask me the difference, I have no clue!) He's also enjoying his internship and is looking forward to getting some hands-on work. He thought he had more prerequisites to do and would be done next year in March but found out otherwise so he'll be graduating in July. I will be done with my schooling in December and then we'll have to come up with a new adventure. Garett is starting to look into grad schools which is exciting and nerve wracking all at once. 

      Along with Garett finishing his schooling, August will mark our 2 year anniversary. It doesn't feel like it's been that long, I swear it feels like only a few months have passed, and yet life before Garett is a blur. 

     Before I forget, another new thing is that some ladies in my ward have started a book club! I am really excited to take part in this as I am always on the hunt for new books to read (despite that my list of books to read will last me until I die). I just finished "Elfstones of Shannara" which was quite the page turner. For the book club we are starting with the book "The Help" while I am also planning on starting the "Goose Girl" series (thanks Catherine). 

    I think this semester is going to be a fun one filled with many new experiences. I look forward to all the learning I'll be doing and hope to have some fun along the way. I hope you are all doing well. Congratulations if you read this whole thing and I hope you have a great weekend! Also I now have Saturdays free for friends and family that want to catch up with me. I would love to hear from y'all!

Love y'all,

Meg

Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

Sorry I don't blog much anymore. Maybe it is because we only have tiny adventures and rarely ones worth noting, or the few that are interesting, I forget to tell you about. 

Not too long ago Garett went hiking up in the mountains.

 Fall here is like spring in the rest of the world. It is warm, but not too hot and fruit seems to never stop growing here.

 We bought a Wii and a few games thanks to Amazon and their GREAT deals.
So we have fun playing games and cheering each other on.

The best news though happened today.....
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WE GOT THE APARTMENT WE WANTED FOR JANUARY!!!!!

We have been on a waiting list since May, but we got it!
It's a beautiful apartment with lots of amenities and I can't wait to move in!
Also we finally got to return the gifts we needed to back to Target and got money back for it! It was more than we expected and now I just want to buy everything at Target. =] 

Now we are on to making sure I get all my name changing goodness done.

Basically I LOVE being married and spending 24/7 with my best friend and all the fun silly moments we get to have together. =] 

Also I look forward to climbing UP Poopout Trail..
(P.S. There is a reason they call it Poopout! We only went down it, but it was hard)
Basically it is a 50-60 degree angled slope, with drop offs on both sides and the trail is a lot of loose dirt with not great grasp. 

needless to say, it's a bit nerve wracking unless you can do it while jumping and sliding quickly.

Also my sweet husband tried to save my life from a snake.
He saw that I was close to stepping on it and shoved me out of the way instantly.
Glad to know his reflexes are to save me.
Isn't he sweet?
I was flattered.
Such a great husband <3>

In other news I got to talk to my sister for a long while and this week has been a generally good week for catching up with my family.

I can't wait to see them in a month! =D

Garett and I are now Sunday School teachers for the 16 year olds in the ward. They are very smart but a bit intimidating, I think I rather teach Relief Society (That is a Sunday school class for adult women) 

All in all life is good. Keeping up with my favorite shows, keeping up with people and relaxing in California with my new family.

Hope all is well for y'all and hope to hear from you soon. =]
Shoot me a text, call, email, facebook message or whatever works for you.

Have a great week!

Megan B.