In the Silence of the Night

It's late and I should be in bed. I'm pretty tired, but I am taking a moment to enjoy the quiet. Rexburg nights are the best because most EVERYTHING is silent and cool. Though it is COLD if you're actually outside. Either way, the apartment cools down and is rather comfortable and Rexburg becomes ghost town. It's a ghost town during the day too currently thanks to it being the 7 week break. Speaking of which...

Most of my friends are back home now in New York, Pennsylvania, Oregon, California, Colorado, Arkansas, Michigan, etc. I'm rather envious of them getting to see their families, but I can't complain because I shall be back in NC in a few days.

I'm wondering how it will feel to be back again. Last time I was there it felt weird, like I was a visitor/guest in someone else's home. I guess that's what happens when you grow up. Suddenly you have a new home, and as much as I would love to deny it, Rexburg is my home now and it feels rightly so. When I got back here in April it just felt right. Especially after being cramped up in Tyler's little Geo Prizm for 5 hours...

On a side note to that, isn't it funny how when you meet someone, you don't know the roll they will play in your life later on, whether big or small. You don't know when getting a ride to Rexburg, that you will become really good friends with the driver; that you'll go play at the park, slide down slides and climb buildings in the wee hours of the morning. You think, "oh just another person".

Like when I met Nikki, she was always with her old roommate and they were an interesting mix together. When I first moved in I didn't talk to either one of them, mostly because Janee was intimidating and as most may know, I am rather shy. But after Janee left, Nikki and I got along perfectly. Given, her and I are VERY different people and it's great. Together we kind of straighten each other out, keep each other sane. But when first meeting her, I had no idea that she would be my room-roommate and also one of my closest friends.

I guess the point of all of this is that I am homesick, but not for home, but for where the people I love reside. Funny, now I have people that I care about all across the country, heck even across the world. I miss you all, wherever you are. And whether I see you tomorrow, next week, in a couple of months, or in a few years, I love and miss you all.

I guess this is all part of life. Nothing stays the same for long, there is not much of a constant in your life. People come and go, classes change, moving around, relationships build or crash. You can only go with the flow and try to keep up.

Speaking of which, I can't wait to go canoeing again! I guess I should start working my arms out again so I don't kill myself on the New River.

Alright, I'm off to bed. Be safe and I wish you all the best. Sweet Dreams world!

I did NOT
fall off my bed today!
but I ate half the
food in the fridge.
Gym here I come
Meg

Where'd You Go? I Miss You So

Seems like it's been forever since you've been gone. Please come back home.

Though this song only has some relevance, it has been stuck in my head this evening.

I guess I haven't written too much on my feelings on my blog in a long time. It normally all goes into my journal. But I guess, what I am starting to miss is the little things. Like the quietness. Not to say back East that everything was ever quiet. But if I wanted quiet it was not hard to find.

Do you ever take time to embrace the silence even for 5 minutes? Those moments of self reflection, that suddenly things that have been fuzzy for so long now become clear?

I have been pondering over some ideas for quite some time now. I have been trying to understand things beyond my capacity. And though there are some things I still do not fully understand, I am learning little by little.

This semester has been unlike anything and everything I have ever experienced. I have grown spiritually, but not in the normal sense. I have grown to learn about myself in ways I never thought possible. Most of this semester I have been working to think less with my emotions, and more with my head. Anyone who knows me well, knows I am very in tune with my emotions and not that I cut them out, but I began to think more logically.

Given there have still been times where I was confused and unsure of what to do, but I knew what I could not do and then worked from there.

What I have learned is that those we surround ourselves with should make us want to be better. I have found some people like that this semester. Not that I feel inferior to them, but they make me want to work harder and be better than I am. I cannot fully explain it, but at the end of the day, I know I want to be worthy of their friendship and be the friend I know I would want to have.

Sometimes we have to stop and reflect. All semester I have been trying to figure out what I was supposed to be learning. And this semester I have learned to be content with my life. That good things come in time and that I can only work to be better until the time comes that I am worthy of those blessings.

I have learned that being straightforward with people can allow you to grow as better friends. That having people to talk to and understand and relate to makes all the difference. I have also begun to see who my true friends are, and the answers have been surprising. I have learned to trust in ways I did not think were possible. I have had conversations with people that have surprised me for the better. Have you ever had one of those? Those conversations that start off merely as fun and entertaining, but then end up having a heart to heart you didn't expect?

Those are some of the best conversations.

I guess what I am saying is that though I am severely flawed, I am slowly improving. It may not always be evident on the outside, but that is because I am still growing on the inside.

There is more I would share, but that is for another time and another place.

In other news, I am ready to visit NC for a bit. It will be nice to see my family and friends again. Though it is only for a week, that is for the better.

I have no singular home anymore. I have family and friend back East, and I also have family and friends here. I love all of you. I love my family, as well as Hannah, Lizzy, Kris, and Nikki.

I wish everyone back East could meet Nikki. I think y'all would love her. But maybe I am partial because she is one of my best friends. Not to mention a southern bell like myself. =]

I love all of you and miss all of you. I may not get to talk to y'all as often as I would like, but you're always in my heart.

Much love,
Meg