My 200th Post

Originally I wanted to do something cool or awesome for my 200th post. I thought of doing one about Rexburg and how I've grown to love it despite the snow and wind here. I thought of doing one on all my new cooking experiences. I thought of doing one on Garett since I am so fond of him. Even thought of doing one about Thanksgiving and my family. But looking through it all I could not decide so I came up with something else.

I like where I am in life. I am on my own. I am learning and growing academically as well as spiritually. I attend the temple weekly. I am learning to cook. I have a wonderful boyfriend that makes me happy beyond reason. I live in a cute little college town that Garett and I can explore to no end. I've discovered many cool things and places about my town. My family is close by whether around the corner or a state below.

I have not forgotten my friends and home back east though. North Carolina will forever hold a place in my heart. I have friends and memories there that I could not and will not forget, friends that have shaped me into the person I am today, friends I will love forever.

As I look toward the future  I see many blurred lines and colors. I have an idea of the future, a minimal outline, but I cannot see all the details no matter how much I try. I guess this post is not about trying to see the details of my life, but to see it as a whole. I chose the picture above for a reason. It is an overlook of the city of Provo, Utah at night, but without the details, you would never know, it would be just another city. But sometimes it is better to not see everything, enjoy looking at the colors of lights and how they merge and contrast with one another. You know there is something out there, you cannot quite see what everything is though.

Life is not about knowing all the details. Let us plan a little at a time, embrace the uncertainty and the adventures that lie ahead. Where I will be in a year, I have no clue, I have an idea, but I do not know. All the same, I am fine with where I am. I am content with the life given to me and as I make it my own, I'll become the woman I was meant to be.

-Meg

Wonderings

You know sometimes I get caught up in my day-to-day routine. I get lost among the school work, work and social aspects of my life, and I forget to look back and see how far I've come. I've gone through a great deal in my young life. I've had times of great strength and others of great weakness. I came from a small town, being one of a few that shared my own beliefs at school. I grew up in a rather culturally diverse area, with the extremes of each season, where you knew a good 1/3-1/2 of your graduating class from when you started kindergarten.

I've been in college for over a year now. I'm surrounded by LDS young adults. I've been on my own for awhile now. I support myself a good bit. I maintain a part time job, while being a full time student, only to add a relationship that I didn't even think I would have time for. Not to mention trying not to completely forget about my friends and family and keeping up those relations.

I'm juggling more than I ever thought I could handle. I'm not saying I'm ungrateful for all of it, on the contrary, I am very grateful for all these opportunities. It is interesting to see how far I've come. My work allows me to handle criticism. My schooling teaches me about art, history, a combination of both, lots about the gospel that I never knew before, and much more.

My relationship is teaching me to trust and have faith. I am one that likes security and if there is one thing I am learning, relationships are never secure. It is a balancing act, a learning process, one that is exciting and terrifying all at once. But at least I am certain that I would not want to be on this adventure with anyone else. We're both learning and growing together and I know he will always be right by my side.

I guess the one point of all this is that I am not who I was 6 months, 1 year or 5 years ago. Though I have always been somewhat terrified of growing up, I am realizing I have been in the process of it for awhile now. It is scary, but I know with the Lord's help, all things are possible. Faith is easier said than done, and this is one of those times where I need faith more than ever.

I hope y'all can also learn to trust in Him. This time in your life may be easy, hard, scary, or exciting but I promise it will get better if you will put your trust in Him.

Meg

Carolina On My Mind

Not actually, well sort of. But that is not the main subject of my post this evening. But after reading my brothers' posts here and here, I was touched. It is true I will miss North Carolina a great deal, but every chapter is just a new beginning.

I guess what I mean to say is that I feel I am beginning a new chapter in my life. This past semester has been one of learning to be a bit more outgoing and trusting. One of having fun and gaining experiences. But now I begin a more personal adventure. One of self growth, spiritually and mentally. There is a great deal that I want to learn, take in and soak up all at once, but alas I know it can only come in time. And today has helped with the beginning of this adventure. Well....several experiences have helped.

To start, my brother and I got to read the scriptures together the other night. It felt amazing to have that in my home. I want to thank my parents for making scripture study a habit in your home; it has been an example to me. And though I know I did not always take advantage of it as much as a I should have, it definitely brought a different spirit into the home.

Today church was magnificent. Not that it isn't always, but I think we all have those Sundays that just stand out to us above all the others. Despite being rather tired in sacrament, I was able to enjoy some wonderful talks. Normally I tend to have one favorite each Sunday, but today each of them just hit me and made me think. Then Sunday school and Relief Society passed and each brought more to me than I thought. Suddenly topics I had never fully appreciated became greatly important and I wanted to learn and take action immediately. I guess you could say it was one of those Sundays. Those moments that hit you, and how you react will define you.

I hope that all of you find those moments in your life. Listen closely at church, find something, and take it to heart. But don't stop there, act on it, better yourself. Because what else do we have in this life? We have our families and the knowledge we gain through schooling, personal and spirituality. In the end, what purpose do we have if we aren't growing? Someone once said, you are either progressing or digressing, there is no constant. So which one are you at?

I think I'm going to stop blogging about my daily life for awhile. I feel it is becoming more of a job than an enjoyment. I'm going to go back to what is on my mind from day to day instead. But you might not hear from me for awhile on here. If you want to keep up with me, please give me a call. Use your phone for what they were originally meant to do, or send me a letter. Call me "old fashioned" but I prefer a phone call or letter to a text or facebook message any day. I'm not great at keeping up with schedules, so give me a call in your free time. I promise to call back if I for some reason miss your call.

Have a great week!
And learn something new =]
Meg

My Mind, My Mind, My Mind

Once again I find myself in the silence of the night here in Rexburg, where it is actually cold outside in August. But that is not relative. I find myself wondering where I want to be. Lately I have been rather uncertain of things. But maybe that is the answer I have been looking for all along.

Looking toward the future, I am about to start on my third semester of college, though that still seems rather young, that was the semester for my sister that she met her future husband. She did not know that at the time, but still it makes me stop and think.

I feel nowhere close to being ready to be married, not to say I wouldn't love it, but I know I have much to learn before I am ready. And honestly, as much as I want to want to be in a relationship, I have no desire to be in one, not right now anyway. I still have much to learn about myself before I can start learning about another.

I guess that is where the answers lie. I have some things I want to accomplish for myself first. I have a great deal of learning to do that I must start now if I ever expect to become the woman I want to be, the one deserving of some incredible man out there.

I know I can care deeply about those close to me, but I need to start even closer. I need to focus on those that truly matter, and then maybe one day I will let myself care deeply for another. Until then, I must learn. Let us face it, the only thing we can take to heaven in the knowledge we gain in this life, right? Might as well take advantage of that now.

Knowledge,
it empowers us all.
Meg