Once again I find myself in the silence of the night here in Rexburg, where it is actually cold outside in August. But that is not relative. I find myself wondering where I want to be. Lately I have been rather uncertain of things. But maybe that is the answer I have been looking for all along.
Looking toward the future, I am about to start on my third semester of college, though that still seems rather young, that was the semester for my sister that she met her future husband. She did not know that at the time, but still it makes me stop and think.
I feel nowhere close to being ready to be married, not to say I wouldn't love it, but I know I have much to learn before I am ready. And honestly, as much as I want to want to be in a relationship, I have no desire to be in one, not right now anyway. I still have much to learn about myself before I can start learning about another.
I guess that is where the answers lie. I have some things I want to accomplish for myself first. I have a great deal of learning to do that I must start now if I ever expect to become the woman I want to be, the one deserving of some incredible man out there.
I know I can care deeply about those close to me, but I need to start even closer. I need to focus on those that truly matter, and then maybe one day I will let myself care deeply for another. Until then, I must learn. Let us face it, the only thing we can take to heaven in the knowledge we gain in this life, right? Might as well take advantage of that now.
Knowledge,
it empowers us all.
Meg
You're right, that's the semester I met Jesse...but it was 2 more semesters before I was ready to really date him, and another and a half after that before I married him! So I had plenty of time to make sure I knew myself first too ;) It is crazy to think about though!
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