October 31, 2010

Just Me

I'll probably put another post up in a bit, or tomorrow about my life. But for now I just want to elaborate on some thoughts recently. I miss posting just random thoughts and opinions. Maybe that is what I am missing in my life, I no longer spontaneously bust out dancing, make weird noise or faces (as Hannah and Lizzy would know). I have almost lost my randomness outside of my interesting earrings. In honor of this sad loss, and to regain it, I think I may dance around my apartment all day and start randomly hugging my friends here.

I MISS HUGS! People rarely hug here and aaaaaah hugs are SOOO happy and fun! I love hugs and expect many when I come home. xP

My other thoughts lately have been on friends. What makes a true friend? To start, someone who cares about you. I don't mean just asking about your day or something. I mean sincerely care about your feelings, problems, thoughts and opinions. True friends are hard to come by, at least for me anyway. Though I may seem outgoing, I am still quite shy and trust very few people. Out here I have struggled somewhat because most people here just seem like fair weather friends. They ask you about your day but don't actually care unless you say something positive and let us face it, not every day is a happy one. But pondering on these thoughts, I started to realize who I counted as true friends and those that I honestly care about. it opened up my mind to questions of why I care about these people. Some are a given, family and my closest friends. But then there are others that I care about yet I am not always sure why. But that is the nature of friendship, you never know who you are going to meet.

Another thing is peace and solitude. Last night my roommate stayed over at a friends and for the first night in awhile, I was completely alone. I ended up staying up for hours just thinking and embracing the quiet serenity of night. Not that my roommate makes much noise to start, but something about that aloneness. Here you are NEVER alone, except to shower pretty much. There is always someone in the next room, talking away. And so I enjoyed my few hours of me time. Not to sound selfish, but you never realize how important alone time is, until you never have it.

My last thought for the night, is laughter is the best medicine. I laughed more and harder today than any other day, since I've been in Idaho. Maybe it was because we got lost, stuck in the sand dunes, ate pizookie (pizza cookie), played mario party until 1am, or just hung out. But maybe it was also because there is a bond between Alisa, Cacia, Rachel and I (the other 2 are gone for the weekend). Our silly freshmanness, or just honest goofiness connects us to each other. These memories we make are vital to our friendship. They connect us and make a bond that may last a life time, or maybe a few more semesters. But we will always remember the fun times of trying to push Rachel's car out of the sand, or riding over the bumpy dirt road, while muddy water flies up over the car. Or hanging out on Alisa's bed quoting Madagascar, even playing Mario Party and failing miserably due to Alisa flying through the directions so we have NO clue what on earth we are supposed to do. But all this is worth it for the laughing until you cry and your sides hurt and you hit your head against the window only to laugh even harder.

So enjoy your time, don't be scared to laugh. Do dumb things, make happy memories and connect yourself to those you care about. Because at the end of the day, your friends are a part of who you are and will become.

"Horses and 'like' horses live there too"
Meg

1 comment:

  1. Fascinating, I had remarkably similar thoughts even though my college experience was strikingly different. Like you, I missed hugs (they weren't encouraged in that military environment.) Like you, there was always a roommate, so I ended up going for walks for my alone time. And like you, I found it very beneficial to make time from my busy schedule, just to ponder. (You'll want to see Aaron's penultimate blog on the same topic.) Finally, like you, I met people that I considered true friends, even though I couldn't specify why. I always chalk it up to friends from before the veil. I wonder if you see the growth you're experiencing? I sure do and I'm proud.

    Love,
    Dad

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